She wanted to park her wagasa in the corner of the
porch, resting against a wall in the shade and not have it shielding the sky from her view. She wanted to let it do all of the hiding and self-protection it wanted, while she ran free and wild in the midday glare, feeling the burn on her skin and not worry about the screeching command of her parents to cover up, protect herself and come inside.
She wanted to be the one or at least join in the fun with her little sister.
Chasing the dogs, tripping and tumbling over their leashes as they ran around yipping at her ankles. She wanted to be able to fall and hit the ground, skin her knees and not sit crying while her parents hastened to clean the wounds, lecturing her about the delicacy of her heart...denying her the chance to live a real life.
“Oka-san, you see Yoshiko, that’s how I’ve always wanted to be: allowed to enjoy happiness. I can only take my puppy out at night, no wonder she loves Yoshiko more. No one will ever love me if I’m
walled away from the world.”
Without saying a word, her mom joined her on the screened-in porch. Tapping the top of Paisley’s hands with the sunglasses she brought out for her, she sat on the swing, starting its movement with the push of her foot.
“Paisley, if you were a mother, you would understand what I do is always in your best interest. I have been worried about you since your birth. Maybe a little overprotective, but what would you expect from a mother who holds her infant in her arms, watches her die and return to life at the age of one year? You have gone from one illness to another and I think your survival should be credited to our diligence.”“Maybe so,” Paisley pushed on the glasses. “ But, I also have to give you credit for making my life depressing and unpredictable. Do you remember the ballet classes? For years I took them. Everyone said I was so good, talented. I thought I would become a ballerina and when the night came I would have a solo as an angel, I sneezed and you kept me home. It ruined things for everyone, not just me and you wouldn’t see that. You have to step back and let me live.
An outstanding magazine - Albinism Beauty,
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